Congratulations to the Spanish
star bastard, Sergio Garcia on winning the green jacket for his first major championship after 19 years on the PGA Tour.
The only way I can describe Sergio putting on the green jacket with that stupid smile is “King Virgin” and I’m sticking to hit.
Sergio was suppose to be the next great Spanish star as he emerged on the scene sharing a great moment with fellow Spaniard, Jose Maria Olazabal. Jose was the 1999 Masters Champion while Sergio won the low amateur champion that same year. A great, feel good story. He is truly an amazing golfer and his ‘choker’ label has overshadowed his great career. I’m not going to lie going into Championship Sunday I was torn between pulling for him big time and watching another classic Sergio meltdown. Naturally, he almost blew it, but eventually he put his big boy pants on and won on the first playoff hole. Congrats Serg.
With that being said, meltdowns are way more classic, so here is Sergios’ Top 5 Meltdowns:
- 2013 Players Championship at TPC Sawgrass
The King Virgin stepped to the iconic 17th tee at TPC Sawgrass tied with king big dick Tiger Woods for the lead. He left the tee box with his chances of a title looooooong gone after hitting it in the water three straight times. This was an epic collapse. While the Players Championship is not a major, it is widely viewed as the unofficial fifth major. This also heated up the Sergio – Tiger beef which led to Sergio pulling a fried chicken joke about Tiger. A King Virgin Racist – not too many of them around.
(Side Note: I still find it so classic that Tiger is a sex addict, banging whores and what not. That’s tight.)
Tiger Woods made this baller comment:
2. 2007 British Open Championship at Carnoustie Golf Links
Sergio came very close to winning The Open ‘Ship in 2007 in Scotland, but ended up shitting the bed. He held the lead after each one of the first three rounds and carried a three-shot lead over Steve Stricker and a six-shot lead over the rest of the field into the start of the fourth day.
Garcia had extended his lead to four shots, but bogeys at the 5th, 7th, and 8th holes brought him back to the field. The last putt on the 18th hole from 6 feet would have given him his first professional major. However, the Prude Sober – King Virgin hybrid missed it by a fraction and faced a four-hole playoff with Padraig Harrington that he eventually lost by one stroke. In a memorable post-round news conference, he complained about all the breaks that go against him and all the bad luck he has. SUCKS 2 SUCK.
3. 2012 Masters at Augusta National
Sergio played extremely well and looked like he was finally going to be able to seal up that first major win. Such an unbelievable career, Sergio was finally going to get his big break. NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND:
On the final day he shot a cool and casual 75 drifting him 10 strokes away from the winner. He then blasted out these post tourney comments that maybe the saddest, most pathetic comments an athlete can say:
These kind of comments, tick me off. Grow up and man the fuck up.
4. 2002 US Open at Bethpage Black
Entering the 2002 U.S Open at Bethpage Black, Sergio was the
only virgin most electric young golfer in the game not named Tiger Woods. By the time the tournament ended, he was the one of the most psychologically-scarred player in the sport.
The 2002 Open at Bethpage is renowned for the case of “the waggles” developed by Sergio. The waggle issue got so bad that the always testy New York galleries began to count out loud Garcia’s takeaways before every shot. It happened during the final round when Garcia was paired in the last group with Woods, who went on to spank Garcia by two shots en route to winning the tournament.
Sergio took an average of over 33 seconds to hit the ball once he was standing over his ball. How do you expect a gallery full of New Yorkers’ not to put you in a body bag?! If I take more than one practice swing on the course I have the group behind me yelling all sorts of shit at me and then bombing drives as warning shots.
5. 2007 PGA Championship
In the 2007 PGA Championship, the Serg got booted after signing an incorrect scorecard after the third round. Tried to pull a slick ricky. The blunder made for a disappointing end to the 2007 major season for the Spaniard. He missed the cut at both the Masters and U.S. Open before losing in a playoff at the Open Championship to Ireland’s Padraig Harrington after taking a three-shot lead into the final round.
This isn’t necessarily a ‘Meltdown’ but it is just soooo Sergio to get DQ’d for something like this to end a miserable 2007 season.